Friday, December 5, 2008

Fuck Ashton Kutcher

I found this little gem of a poem by Dave Chappelle a few years ago. Pretty much the best poem I've ever heard.

Ashton Kutcher

Fuck Ashton Kutcher
by Dave Chappelle

Fuck Ashton Kutcher
The public image butcher.

His shows a hit
And I can't stand that shit.
I don't even know him
And I hate his guts.

If he punks me
I won't sign the release.
Because whenever he punks black people
It always involves the POLICE.

He be having all them white folks at home rollin'
"Brandy did you know that that jewelery was STOLEN?!"
But Hey! I'm a star!
Well stop shining and get your ass out that car.

Now he wouldn't like it
If me and my friends
Just before dawn
Bust in his house
With some ski masks on
Put a gun in his mouth
Turn on the lights
And just when he screams
I'll yell out "SIKE!"
Can you sign this release?
I want to entertain people with your fear.
You punk bitch.

Dave Chappelle

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