Bumpin' Uglies by Jamie DeWolf

This poem by Jamie DeWolf (interesting fact: the grandson of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard) is giving me life. It's a beautiful message wrapped up in a deliciously offensive package.

Offensive Content Warning: "Big, bad" words and sexual situations

Thank you Mr. DeWolf, now I don't feel too bad about my daily Creole Creamery ice cream cone.

Hear Hear: Time to Dance

Check out this cinematic music video in which Jake Gyllenhaal goes on a hipster killing spree. I love when celebs do music videos.

Offensive Content Warning: Violence and gore.

Josh Horowitz is an Interviewing God

 

Seriously. I watch these interviews with as much intensity as I watch Bravo TV.

Jeremy Scott does Bacon. Remains ~*~So MeAtY~*~

    

Atleast, I think that's supposed to be bacon.

He also chanels his INNER GAGA

    

No. No No No NO NO NO NNOOOOONOOOOOONOOOOOO GOD NOOOOOOO

This video may induce vomiting and loss of faith in humanity.

What on earth...are those.....fly legs....on her-NO. NOOOO NO NO NO NO NOOOOO

NO! JUST NOOO!O!!OOOO!!!!!OOOOOO

I'M SHAKING AND CRYING

NOT OKAY GIRL. NOT OKAY.

New M.I.A.

M.I.A's latest video "Born Free" was released yesterday and it's pretty heavy. So if you're easily offended approach with caution. There IS violence and sexual content. But it's very political and satirical. 

Some may say it's too much (read: Youtube banned it), but if you don't take it at face value it's do-able. I personally can't wait for Fox and Bill O'Reilly to comment on this.

JESUS. 2000.

NEGL, An Awesome Excuse to Repost My Favorite Offensive Video Ever

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MIX TRUCKER'S DELIGHT  AND A SICK REMIX OF "WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS"?

FRENCH GODLINESS IS WHAT HAPPENS. TY FRANCE.

And this video is just as offensive as the original.

TRUCKERS DELIGHT - Great Justice remix (+ clip bonus) from ToNio PaRez on Vimeo.

That is all.

OFFENSIVE CONTENT: WTF BELLY RING. WTF.

My stock pile of belly button rings and what not has gradually dwindled since I bought like 20 of them in high school. I'm getting scared that when I lose the current one I'll be FORCED to finally wear the remaining "69" ring. We all know what baggage comes with the "69" belly button ring (read: Trailer Park).

So I'm shopping for a new stockpile. But OMG, I think in the...IDK....4 years since I bought my last stockpile the rings have gotten EVEN TRASHIER. I didn't think it was possible to get worse than the "playboy," "69," "BITCH," "PORN STAR" dangly bits.
And then I found it. A belly button ring to trump them ALL. The KING of trashy.
BEHOLD, so WTF I don't even want the picture on the front page of the blog.

Hear Hear: Rad Anthem 2010

Offensive Content: Drugs, Alcohol, Strip Clubs, Party Atmosphere, and General Bad Ass-ness.

There are so many GOOD things about this song/video.
1. Three words. Fast food mascots. In my opinion the only mascots worth having because let's be honest here...The King is absolutely hilarious. I don't even like fast food, but oh man those mascots are just great. Jack in the Box has a really cool mask. The Colonel is just a BAMF with his white pimp suit. BAMFs.

2. The Rad Omen have created a song that is reminiscent of Daft Punk (who have new stuff coming out within the next year, rememberrr!!!!!) You just can't go wrong with the basic house club beats.

3. The video story line is so offensive, and anyone that knows me knows that: offensive = automatic hit

4. Rad Omen is offering this song for a FREE DOWNLOAD.

I'm really feeling it. The nostalgia, the grittyness, the free-ness. HEAR HEAR, The Rad Omen should be looked out for in the future.

OFFENSIVE CONTENT: Trucker's Delight

This video DEFINITELY has OFFENSIVE CONTENT. WARNING YOU AHEAD OF TIME.
But it's so awesome, I can't NOT share it.
And I'm in LOVE with this song. A+.
And Flairs is French Electronica just like YOU KNOW WHO....
JUST SAYIN'

FLAIRS - TRUCKERS DELIGHT from 3rd Side Records on Vimeo.

In other news....

R.I.P. DAUL KIM

I LOVED BLONDE DAUL!!

A supermodel that I genuinely LOVED. I EVEN FOLLOWED HER BLOGGER!!! A great loss to the fashion world! Only 20 years old, WHYYYY!?!?!

WHAAAAATTTTTT?!?!

I am OFFICIALLY Shaking AND Crying. OOOOKAY.

NATALIEEEEE

I'LL KILL YOUR FING DOG FOR FUN. SO DON'T PUSH ME!

Oh, don't worry. I GOT YOUR BACK. Uncensored version here (the real reason why I love this song and Natalie Portman so much now.)

Track 18 on The Lonely Island's INCREDIBAD. I also love Andy Samberg.

NEW Club Hits

Pardon my french, but THIS SHIT IS HOT.
OMFG. My new club song of the next 2 months.
ON REPEATTTTTT.
And I don't even like Akon that much. D. GUETTS IS A MIRACLE.



And also NEW CROOKERS?! July is a great month.
In case you didn't know, Crookers did that BAMF remix of Day'N'Nite that is way better than the original IMO. And they just have generally awesome, bass heavy songs.

This is awkward.

Meg it's about time that you need to start carrying protection. Dad, that's a trash bagI know. Hefty, Hefty, Hefty!

Banana flavored condom... pillows?

I don't really know what to think about these, but what i do know is this Etsy seller really is obsessed with condoms. I mean, condom key chains? A fabric replica of a condom package that's almost the size of a penny for $5? C'mon now.

Lamé done wrong

Solange, this could've been cool. Minus the camel toe.

In the words of Flava Flav: "WOOOOOWWW"

Gear Grinding: Unnecessary Apologies

Okay, I was reading this article on Yahoo! titled "Cowell's Confession: Sim Says, "I'm Wrong." And the subject of this article really started grinding my gears so I have to blog about it.

Basically it's about how Simon Cowell was harsh in his criticisms to people like Susan Boyle and all the kids they let pass on Britain's Got Talent and that while he is usually dead on in his criticisms no matter how harsh they are, this time "he was wrong for saying what he did."
Pardon my french but, fuck that. His criticisms are only harsh because now he's saying them to some 50 year old virgin religious cat lady and 10 year olds. When he says it to a 30 year old struggling single mother or 20 year old in the midst of their college years it's okay? But not now?

FALSE.

The entertainment business IS harsh in it's nature. If anyone is going to pursue their dreams of being an entertainer they damn well better be prepared for harsh criticism, NO MATTER AGE, RACE, MENTAL CAPABILITIES, BEAUTY, SOCIAL STATUS. IDFC. If you suck you suck. If you're amazing you're amazing.

Simon says: "Yet, perhaps my biggest regret of this year was...with Aidan Davis, the 11-year-old street dancer from Birmingham. In the final, I made him cry, too, by describing his performance as lackluster--it was a huge, huge mistake. It almost ruined the whole evening for everyone...I had treated him as I would an adult, forgetting that he was only an 11-year-old child with a dream. I apologized to him afterwards, but it didn't make me feel any better about it. Moral of the story? I don't always get it right. Looking back, I know I could've been kinder."

Why should I lie and tell a 10 year old they have the voice of a goddess when they don't? So that I can live to regret the day I told that lie when I have to painfully listen to them perform every day since. Fuck that too. That's what parents are for. Let the parents lie to their children and tell them they sing/dance great or how fantastic their artwork is. AS A PROFESSIONAL TALENT SCOUNT IT IS NOT SIMON'S JOB TO LIE TO THESE PEOPLE. They should be mentally prepared for whatever he's saying to them. And if he says you suck then TOUGH SHIT. Go back to your studio and practice until you get better.

Omg. It really pisses me off how sensitive people are these days. I FOR ONE AM TIRED OF LAME, CLICHE THINGS CONTINUOUSLY GETTING PRAISED BECAUSE SOME GENIUS PLAYS THAT WEAK, CHILD/UGLY CARD. CHILDREN DO NOT ALWAYS EQUAL TALENT. I SAID IT. So Simon, you should not apologize. You told a ballerina what she needed to hear. She's 10. She has 90 years to fine tune her skills. Maybe she'll be the next Madonna. THE POINT IS THAT SHE HAS TIME TO BECOME THAT SO STFD WHINY BABIES.

And Susan Boyle is a 50 year old woman. If she doesn't know how the world works by now...that's pathetic. The fact that she's treated like a 10 year old too should be insulting to her. The fact that she's acting like a 10 year old is insulting to me.

And back to the topic of children in showbiz, it's not just the children's fault. PARENTS. If you're going to showcase your child then you should EXPECT harsh realities from other people. JEEZ. It makes me upset to see how, pardon me again, pussy entertainment is becoming. I want the harsh old days back when people actually had to WORK to get their high status. And not just cry on TV and make everyone feel bad for them so they can win.

And Stavros Flatley should've won. F YOU BRITAIN.

Baby are you ready to lick me sexy uh uh?