Why did anyone think this was a good idea?

No wonder it's going straight to DVD

This sucks.

Respect.

First they took the Brontosaurus,

Then it was Pluto,

And now they're trying to take away our precious Triceratops.

I hate being scientifically correct.

GHP Weighs in on the VMA Drama

What is going on in the world?! For 30 minutes straight my Facebook feed was like "KANYE YOU SUCK AND YOU ARE RUDE." And I'm like....you know.....finally the world sees him for what he really is. What did he do NOW?

After a little research I find out that he interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech because he was butt hurt--

OH WAIT. I'M HAVING DEJA VU.

Kanye West gets butt hurt at the VMA's in Europe when his video, Touch the Sky I think, loses to Justice's video for D.A.N.C.E. which D.A.N.C.E. was a WAY better video anyway.

Yeah folks, he already did this a few years ago........If only Jesus had gifted Kanye with the great gift of foresight. (Insert 'Jesus Walks' joke here).

Back to the 2009 VMA's.....he's butt hurt that Single Ladies didn't win best female video. If only he DID have foresight, he could FORESEE Single Ladies winning the more prestigious "Best Video of the Year" award. What a fool. I wish he had never came through the wire. Shit.

So basically, what happened:

Taylor Swift aside, THE FIRST TIME HE DID THIS HE DID IT TO JUSTICE. JUSTICE.

How can you challenge JUSTICE? DOES HE LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM BABIES TOO?!

THESE AMAZING FRENCH MEN WHO NEVER DID ANYTHING TO ANYONE. AND WHO MAKE LEATHER JACKETS COOL. AND THEIR MUSIC VIDEO WAS ACTUALLY AMAZING AND DID DESERVE TO WIN. And on THAT note, Taylor Swift's video was kind of cute...not gonna lie. It also helps that MTV's voting audience consists of 13 year old girls. UHHMMMMMM....

So, moral of the story, Kanye West is an asshole. Tell me something I DON'T KNOW. I already can't stand his guts. He's just trying to overcompensate for his short stature or something. Small penis syndrome anyone?

Don't mess with Justice.

Anyway, speaking of Taylor Swift..........I heard this song at a water park over the summer. A WATER PARK. Thoroughly offended.

And also, don't forget to catch Justice at Voodoo Fest 2009. Be there or be LAME. I'm still trying to figure out HOW I'll be there? If I volunteer to be a photographer will they let me dance on stage with Gaspard and Xavier?

Who would win in a battle of the bands, Creed/Nickelback or these guys?

I really don't know.

Skyecandy: The birthchild of Skype and speed dating

So what exactly is all this Skyecandy hoo-rah-rah? Well, basically, you get these 5 minute speed dating sessions via Skype and after you're done webcam chatting with the other person, you have a one minute interval where you get to choose YES or NO on your potential internet mate. If both you and your date choose YES, it's considered a match and you can Skype each other for internet real. And fall in internet love.

Lamé done wrong

Solange, this could've been cool. Minus the camel toe.

I hope I never run into this guy when I'm out.

Don't feel like you're obligated to watch the whole video. I didn't. I got enough guido overload after the first 20 seconds after the 1 minute 15 sec point.

I'm totally checkin' my email. Total man.

Checking my email has become an everyday ritual for me. I don't know about you, but I get 2947823742304712-9780237482349 emails a day, and no, I'm not just talking about spam. So, today I get an email in my inbox from an unfamilar address. First I think, "oh! spam!" but then I look at the last name of the sender and it's the same as my friend's. The email is titled "FW: How much do you know about me?". So, I figure she just sent me one of those random forwards poo blah to read. I open it and read it over and notice that none of these answers even remotely relate to anything about my friend and actually look like some 12 year old teeny bopper wrote it. I then look at the email header and also notice that the sender has also put the name Dorothy next to my email address. Dorothy is not my name. In no way, shape or form annnnnnddd why the hell would anyone want to be named Dorothy anyways!? If that even WAS my real name I would have gone and gotten it changed yearsssss ago.

But enough of me ranting, I thought you might enjoy reading this email (and my comments on it). UPDATE: I condensed her email to only the #'s that were worth while on commenting on because I'm pretty sure you don't care what she ate for breakfast or that she picked diamonds over pearls. Sorry girl who sent it to me, but next time you send out your emails, make sure you check the addresses first.

Original email in blue

My comments in black

Welcome to the 2009 edition of getting to know your Friends. Press '*FORWARD*' then change all the answers so they apply *ONLY to you*, and then send this to your friends
*_Including the person who sent it to you._*
The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known!
The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about STRANGERS that you might not have known!

*1.* *What time did you get up this morning?* 11:00 AM (:
Did you REALLY take the time to add all those stars around every # and every question? And why did you put a smiley emoticon after your answer? Unnecessary much?

*3.* * What was the last film you saw at the cinema? hmm Mall cop, haven't gone to the movies in a while
I'm guessing you're 12 years old

*4.* * What is your favorite TV show? * The secret life of the american teenager :]
Mmm ya you're definitely 12.

**9.* * What kind of car do you drive? a prius :] go green...

Maybe you're not 12 then?

**12.* * Favorite item of clothing? I <3 style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Nvm. You're 12.

14.* * Favorite brand of clothing? Aeropostale :)
BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

**21.* *Are you a morning person or a night person? Night/afternoon
So, pretty much every part of the day that isn't considered the morning.

30.* *What is your full name? Aryanna Rei Zuniga Chavez
WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU EMAILING ME?!?!?!

**31.* *What are you listening to right now? iTunes :]

So, you're listening to your music program?

*34.* *If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? PURPLE! Unless the make a rainbow crayon...(LOL @ ania)

**
Shut up. This isn't Twitter.

**42.* *Hugs or kisses? Both ;D
I hate when people say both. Make up your mind!

**43.* *Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate, vanilla is okay too
*
MAKE UP YOUR MINDDDDDDD!!!

44.* *Coffee or tea? Tea, but only green tea, or jasmine, or whatever you eat at the japanese resturant :]
Stop with the emoticons...

**48.* * What did you do last night*? Hahaha, Omgpop :)
*
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?!? AND I SAID STOP WITH THE EMOTICONS!!

**53. Favorite day of the week? Friday and Saturday!
Did this question ask "Favorite days of the week?" Yea. I thought so.

**55.* *Do you make friends easily? Most of the time ;)
I give up on the emoticons. The use of the wink emoticon here doesn't even make any sense.

**56.* *How many people will you send this to?* probably like 10 at least.
Probably like 9 friends and a STRANGER!

**57.* *How many will respond? the ones who are nice and smart enough :]
Since you didn't even answer the question correctly, I'll do it for you: They blog about it.

Ohhh that's what you get for sticking out your neck

And isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Fireman's college consumed by flames with no sprinklers installed to come to the rescue. FAIL.

SPAZZ BAM BOOM BANG RAZZZZMATAZZ

AHHHHH It's been so long and I have all this internetage bottled up inside of me and I just have to let it out in one colassal EXPLOSION post!!

When I got a text about the Oprah KFC free meal coupons earlier this week, my roomate and I print out like a gazillion of them. I just found out that KFC is cancelling the deal. Epic fail KFC.

Speaking of texts... ever get that one text that you just wanna mass forward text to all your contacts because it's just so unbelievable aka hilarious? Well now you can post it to the word via texts from last night. I'd say it's the FML of the txting world.

Meat business cards! Meat! Meat! Meat! It's a treat!

Mmmmm a photo blog about hospital food.



Watch Youtube videos in kaleidoscope collage weird mosaic whatever it's called.


Pasta bowls now available at Domino's!

Finally, a place where I can learn how to beat up dinosaurs, sacks of nickels and pretty much anything in the universe! howtobeatupanything.com Do it. Oh, and do this:

Is this boy being serious?

Also, I'd like to point out that in his Youtube profile he has listed his name as Sexman.

EPIC CAKE FAIL

I love Cake Wrecks. They have the best selection of hot mess cakes I have ever seen. My all-time favorite has to be the darth vader it's a girl cake .


Go check the blog entry. It's HILARE MATRARE! (that's a made up term me and my roomate use. It means hilarious. You know, if you didn't get it from the hilare portion of it. Context clues kids. Context clues.)

You know what really grinds my gears: BlackBerry Pearl

I'm down with the BlackBerrys. They're trendy, functional, good lookin phones, but the Pearl on the other hand, that's a different story. I feel like the Pearl is for people who want a BlackBerry, but can't afford the nicer aka real ones like the Curve. What's the point of getting the Pearl? It doesn't even look like a BB. It just looks like one of those Nokia phones, and the buttons on there are so tiny!! Were these phones developed especially for fetus' fingers? Pearl users think they're going to wow someone just because there's a little ensigma on the top of their phone screen that says "BlackBerry". Well guess what: YA NOT! I know you really wanted that BB Storm but didn't have the $$$. I don't care if you got those free shiz phones. Hell, I got one too! Just don't be bustin out that BB Pearl on me okay? And what the hell is this flip Pearl? I hope those BB Pearl flip phone users cellphones spontaneously explode in their pockets/purses and kill them because that is the ugliest shiz i've ever seen in my life. BlackBerry Pearl? Might as well rename it BlackBerry Poo.

I never knew anything on Yahoo could be more fun than Text Twist!

I originally went on Yahoo Answers so I could solve a problem of my elliptical machine's digital screen thing being broken. While waiting around for someone to give me an answer, I explored the world of Yahoo Answers. This is what one girl seriously asked:

how can i say "whats up" in a cool way? you know how some scene kids said they dont reply to "whats up" or "how are you"

i already know "supp@chuu"

do you know of any REALY GOOD ones??

Another girl asked Which of these girls is prettier? And she posts up a link with a tan blonde girl and this pale brunette girl. One of the answers was "hot azz mess, which one is you?"

Yahoo Answers is definitely one of the best forms of entertainment around! You have to go see for yourself. BTW my elliptical question never got solved.

Ayo Technology

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce: My iPod.

The backstory: Last year there was a week of my life when God was working against me in all ways. It was spring break, I had a project due, I lost my cell phone somewhere in the Florida Keys, and then top it off with my new Ipod falling out my sweatshirt pocket onto the exact spot that causes the LCD screen to crack and ink to bleed all over the LEFT SIDE of the screen ironically, or not ironically, the side I need to see navigate the menus.

In my anger and frustration I went to the apple store and DEMANDED they replace it because 1. I just bought it, and 2. It's not my fault their piece of shit breaks because it ACCIDENTALLY fell out of my pocket...ie. I've dropped ipods a million times before in the 4 years I've owned one and this has NEVER happened. Well the Steve Jobs Jr. Douchebags were like "WAH WAH WAH We don't replace for those kinds of accidents." Fine Apple store, f**k you. I'll never shop here again. A**holes.

So my next idea was to send it in for battery replacement and hopefully they don't notice the screen is destroyed. Except I knew that would never work and that if I sent it in I'd be ipod-less...and half an ipod is better than none at all. So I just learned how to navigate (ie. memorized) all the menus and songs and navigated that way. Besides sometimes, if you held it at the right angle, you could see fine...and if there was no blacklight it was easy to see the words.

However...that shit got old fast so I had to find something to fix this problem. And then, like an angel from heaven, Ebay came to my rescue. (Life motto: When all else fails, try ebay). Now while it is easy enough to just buy a new iPod on ebay, you'll still be shelling out atleast $100. Unacceptable.

So if you ever find yourself in my situation: broke, desperate...I want you to know that it is possible to just buy a replacement LCD screen. And the best part: $18!!!!!! (FREE SHIPPING TOO~)! The only catch is that you have to replace it yourself (for this price. You can also send it in to a third party shop and have them fix it)...but I mean...if you can read instructions and have patience it's not that bad. I DID IT!! And you also void your apple warranty by taking the ipod apart...but honestly that apple shit is worthless. They pretty much don't cover anything that actually DAMAGES your ipod aka the stuff you ACTUALLY do to break it. Drop it in water...screwed; drop it on the ground...screwed; sit on it....screwed; have it destroyed by someone else...screwed.

Anyway, here's some pics of my LCD replacement story.

FAILPOD IS NO MORE!!

It's really intimidating inside.


The faceplate that's SUPPOSED to protect your LCD screen...don't know what happened to mine. I should've told the apple people their FAULTY SHIT faceplate is why my LCD broke.
That little white dot thing is the middle clicker button...so innocent!

And that concludes my ipod rant and what you should do in the case your ipod ever looks like the first picture.

WHAT HAPPENED?!

In his prime (read: 10 years ago), the girls went googly for Tom Felton of Harry Potter fame.



But holy shit, these pictures of him at a recent trip to Orlando have me thinking....WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!





He looks so sickly: Pasty skin tone, stick like limbs...the hair...Honestly, that hair cut/style is doing nothing for his hairline. Where is his stylist?!

Via: ONTD

OWND

Tables...Aren't....YOUR FRIENDS.
You'll never feel the same again.
Ooh Come on! Come On. Come on!

Hilarity ensues at 0:45.

Ps. Click my little intro chorus for an awesome drunk prank Justice music video. =D

What a pretty...WHAT THE FUCK

Please, someone explain this to me. WHY?! WTF?! Awesome idea, but REALLY?! IS IT NECESSARY?!

JUST WTF? I FEEL SOOOOOOO BAD FOR THIS DOG.