69 EMINEM

I personally can't wait for this movie. Even though he's mocking fashion. D=

The setting: MTV Music awards May 31, 2009
The offense: Bruno (aka Sacha Baron Cohen) flies into the award show with giant angel wings harnessed around himself...bare assed of course. He proceeds to flip over and get lowered into the unsuspecting lap of Eminem. Eminem gets pissed off because a man's bare ass is in his face and his bodyguards slap Bruno around like a pinata. Then Eminem angrily storms out of his seat. With his posse.

Okay I HAVE to give my two cents on how ridiculous Eminem responded to this. Now, nothing against Eminem...BUT COME ON. How many times have you gotten your kicks out of other people's humiliation?
Figure 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
I mean, it happens like once per album. Where is your sense of humor on live TV Eminem?

Understandable that bare ass inches from your face can be rather annoying, but if you can dish as much trash talk as Eminem does then I'd expect him to be able to take it back ten fold. I think Bruno picked the perfect victim for his stunt. And the fact that Eminem took it like a baby makes it so much better.

And I mean Eminem is a small dude. Sacha Baron Cohen is a BAMF (subsitute Bad for Big). My money's on Sacha in a fight. As long as Eminem leaves his bodyguard posse behind and fights like a MAN. You know, like how he "grew up on 8 mile road."

As one youtube user so elequently put it:

"I find it funny how eminen can dish it out but then when the joke is on him he turns into a little bitch. I mean look at his we made you video, yes its funny but he sure made alot of tongue in cheek cracks at celebs and their troubles. Yes this was slighty a bit far but it was a joke. Dont dish it out if you cant take a little dose of your own medicine."

Sorry, no videos of the said stunt because...YOUTUBE SNOBS DON'T LIKE SHARING THE WEALTH. WHATEVER. I JUST WON'T WATCH YOUR AWARD SHOW NEXT YEAR.

Two of my two favorite things united in one on one of my favorite channels

Tune in Tuesday, June 2 @ 10 PM ET/PT

2010 get ready for Toy Story 3

Spread that Bacon, Spread, Spread that Bacon

Need MORE bacon in your life? I think you do! You can get bacon flavored spread, bacon flavored salt, bacon flavored apples will be next I'm sure. This company does things with bacon I couldn't even imagine.

BUY BUY BUY

Celebs Having FUN!

GUESS WHO?

ANTON YELCHIN ON TAMBOURINE.
He seems like so much fun.

WICTOR WICTOR.

The Governator? More like Mayor Durden.

Check this tee for sale at Storyville. Brad Pitt for the next mayor of New Orleans! I'd certainly watch the political jargon shows on TV if he was mayor.

$20 at Storyville

Here are the 13 reasons they give that Brad Pitt should be mayor of NOLA. I'm especially feeling no. 10 and 13.

Reason #1 - He's Qualified

Rather than having to make vague and unpersuasive connections between clearly unrelated qualifications such as, say, franchise executive and governing abilities, the qualifications of our candidate are plainly obvious: as the worldwide audience of Homer’s Troy can attest, Mr. Brad Pitt clearly has the stomach for the job, not to mention the shoulders to carry the burden of governance.

Reason #2 - NOLA ♥'s Brad Pitt

By bestowing the great office of Mayor of our city upon Mr. Pitt, we, the citizens, are afforded the opportunity to say thanks for the many wonderful things this gentleman has already done for us. What better way to show our heart-felt appreciation than to present to him the mayoral office, the patronage trough, the cornucopia of our great city, that which we hold so dear and is ours to bequeath?

Reason #3 - Lagniappe

If we elect Brad Pitt mayor, Angelina Jolie would be the First Lady of New Orleans.

Reason #4 - Technology and Gastronomy

Instead of technology executives vying for malfunctioning anti-crime camera installation contracts and lap dances, movie moguls from everywhere will lobby the mayor to get a table on Galatoire’s ground floor for the Friday before Mardi Gras all-afternoon lunch.

Reason #5 - Publicity

Publicity and photo opportunities will chase our Mayor, instead of the Mayor chasing publicity and photo opportunities.

Reason #6 - Urban Planning

We will not have to rename a street to honor his name, as Pitt Street already exists.

Reason #7 - City Council Relations

Stacy Head will be nice to the new Mayor.

Reason #8 - Economics

Instead of executive travel expenses depleting our budget, the city’s coffers will be filled through generous personal appearance fees earned by Mr. Pitt as our elected leader and ambassador.

Reason #9 - Convention Business

New Orleans will become the magnet for conventions of professional women’s organizations worldwide. The warm glow of pink Cadillacs will illuminate our Southern nights. This mass of sensually charged femininity will attract male visitors eager to contribute their economic stimulus.

Reason #10 - Jazz Fest

Instead of being greeted by the ubiquitous presence of Shell (God bless them!), visitors to Jazz Fest will be welcomed at the main entrance by our Mayor enthroned on the King of Rex Float, officiated by his Secretary of Music, Quint Davis.
GHP Says: Can we be greeted by Maddox too? That FURCE KID.

Inner Mind Theatre:

Reason #11 - Rebuilding

Rather than relying on Aussie eloquence and narrative creativity or malfunctioning federal and state agencies, Mr. Pitt, as our chief executive will, instead, lead us, the local Pittwomen and Pittmen, in the fight against blight, crime, poverty and lack of humor. Dressed in period costumes and assisted by experienced producers, set builders, make-up artists, and camera operators, this cast of thousands will launch our Renaissance epic in weekly reality sequels.

Reason #12 - Transparency

Instead of having to sue for the release of public records, or to attempt to restore accidentally deleted emails, we can learn everything about our first executive from the pages of the National Enquirer and People Magazine.

Reason #13 - Integrity

Rather than governing our city to achieve fortune, fame and a book deal, our candidate already has achieved fortune, fame and MOVIE deals.

BRAD PITT WE LOVE YOU BBY! BENJAMIN BUTTON WAS A GOOD MOVIE.

Adorable!

If you need a cute ipod/iphone/laptop sticker I'd suggest this adorable sticker...

with a FLYING SQUIRREL!!! SO CUTE!! And artistically I'm feeling the mixed mediums effect. It's just so clean and THE SQUIRREL!

BUY IT BUY IT BUY IT
Prices from $15-30

My Kind of Holiday.

Cheese Rolling on Cooper Hill. Holy OMG it looks like an absolute RIOT full of LULZ.

Click the image to view the source and more pictures.

Basically people start at the top of this steep hill. And an 8 pound Gouda cheese is rolled down the hill (with the forces of gravity it can reach 70 MPH and kill anyone that stands in its way). It's so BRUTAL. And people RACE down the hill to get the cheese. And the cheese is the prize. I mean I don't know what I'd do with 8 pounds of Gouda but I would participate in this in a HOT SECOND.

Get my cardboard box sled on. BRINGING THE LEVEES TO ENGLAND BABY.

PWONG'D SOME B'S

I found a new game. It's like PONG but more Fabulous. The Tetris Techno makes the game so much better and you feel like a real badass PWNING UP ON SOME NOOBS.

PLAY PLAY PLAY


I'M PWNING IT.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,

The LaCie Datashare allows you to take your SD and microSD cards and turn them into USBs! Very useful if you don't have an SD port on your lappy/computer and need to transfer files from say your digital camera onto your laptop!

Show me how!

Front cover Back cover

Show Me How is this awesome book that's filled with 500 instructionals on how to do certain stuff. These things range from what foods you should pair with certain wines to picking out gemstones. There's stuff on cooking, surviving in the wilderness, and even fashion. My future roomate just showed me this book and said she's gonna use it for our future coffee table (which has not been attained yet...). I haven' t gotten to look through the whole thing, but I'm definitely going out and buying a copy for myself!

Move over Ask Jeeves

So, this is Wolffram. It's pretty much a new type of search engine on the internet that works kind of in the same way Ask Jeeves does. You don't have to type in your search in the form of a question though. I searched "crawfish" and it gave me all its nutritional facts, physical property, etc etc. You can also insert math formulas, stocks, blah blah whatever your heart desires. I'm just playing around with it right now. It's new to me so I don't quite know all the features it offers, but I think it's a really neat search engine so def check it out.

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears: DRIVING

I try to mind my words on the blog, but my gears are SO GROUND I'm throwing decency into the wind.

I have spent a good (read: 80%) of my summer thus far DRIVING. And while it usually doesn't bother me THAT MUCH, it has REALLY been working my last DAMN nerve lately. Gears GROUND.

It all started on the long (read: 13 hours. May not be much for you but it's TORTURE for me) drive from Miami to New Orleans. On top of my 4 hours of sleep I had to drive WEST AT SUNSET. You know that PRIME time of the day when the sun is like "OH HAI EYES. I'M JUST GOING TO BLIND YOU FOR A FEW FUCKING HOURS. I HOPE YOU DON'T GO OFF THE ROAD ON ACCIDENT OR MISS YOUR EXIT."

There's nothing better than driving west at sunset. OH WAIT, there are a TON of things better than driving west at sunset:
Drinking cyanide, eating roaches for dinner, running a 5K, shitting on yourself in public, Charles Manson, watching Barney, self dismemberment, going bankrupt, getting an STD, teen pregnancy, Donatella Versace's plastic surgery and tan, commercials on the radio, restaurant food that tastes like shit and costs the same as a race horse, drowning, falling nightmares, gay guys you wish were straight, prison, racial discrimination, ice age, mass human extinction--
OH WAIT. ALL OF THOSE THINGS MAKE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF. BUT THEY ARE STILL BETTER THAN DRIVING WEST AT SUNSET.

AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE CAR MANUFACTURING ASS DOUCHES PUTTING IN THE "SUN SHADES" FOR? THEY DON'T SHADE SHIT CHRYSLER/FORD/HONDA/TOYOTA/BMW. They might was well just not put anything there because ALL IT DOES IS TEASE ME. AND PISS ME OFF EVEN MORE BECAUSE IT JUST DOESN'T REACH FAR ENOUGH. GET A LESSON IN SUN ANGLES ASSHOLES.

It's called a SUN CHART. Assholes. How about some kind of sun shade that actually ALLOWS ME TO DRIVE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 4 AND 7. STUPID ASS FACES.

Oh no. But even when the sun ISN'T shining in my eyes there are these lovely things called IDIOT DRIVERS to make my life difficult. I don't know WHAT WORLD anyone lives in these days, but in MY WORLD the left lane is also known as "THE FAST LANE" AKA YOU ARE GOING OVER THE SPEED LIMIT AKA YOU ARE NOT GOING THE SPEED LIMIT OR UNDER IT AKA IF YOUR ASS IS GOING 60 GET THE FUCK OVER IDIOT.

There are even SIGNS for this shit. I SWORE IT WAS REAL.

I don't know why people go the speed limit in the fast lane!! 90% of the time when I'm speeding on the interstate it's because I'VE GOT SHIT TO DO! And your SLOW ASS IS BLOCKING ME IN BECAUSE SOME OTHER IDIOT DOUCHEBAG IS TRYING TO RACE ME ON THE RIGHT AND BLOCKING ME FROM GETTING OVER TO PASS YOU. If you see me speeding up on you THAT MEANS GET OVER BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO SLOW. And if you're not even going to go over 60 WHY ARE YOU IN THE LANE AT ALL. IDIOTS.

I was speeding with GOOD REASON.

My BBY ANTON. ILU. You did not disappoint. EL SENOR BALE STOP THROWING BITCH FITS PLEASE.

And as dishonorable/not serious as my reason MAY HAVE BEEN, you still need to GTFO. GET THE FUCK OVER...OR OUT I COULD CARE LESS EITHER WAY AS LONG AS YOU'RE GONE.

Driving. I QUIT YOU.
ALL ABOARD THE RAILCAT.

End rant.

These kids RULE THE WORLD.

Also, they got to sing with Passion Pit. These kids are so cool!!

Confessions of a former wallpaper junkie

Ya I have to admit, I used to be all up in the wallpapers business. I'd go online for hours just searching for that perfecttt one. Now if some random picture catches my eye I just right click and "Set As Desktop Background". Center not stretch please. Yea I know what's up, but if you're a major wallpaper junkie this website links you to a million bagizzijitesxilion fly ones to choose one. Enjoy

I could do this all day long.

Pick one is an experiment in desicion-making. The top ten as of now include:

1. Wealth

2. Freedom

3. Love

4. Sex

5. Music

6. Kissing

7. Dreams

8. Women

9. Art

10. Peace

And the current bottom ten are:

1. AIDS

2. Fascism

3. War

4. Disease

5. 9/11

6. Famine

7. Cancer

8. Lil' Wayne

9. The Pope

10. Hell

Lil Weezy, bottom ten!? More like top ten!! Helloooo people!!

What will they think of next?

I was browsing through American Apparel's coming soon section and found these. First I thought, really now? Who's going to wear these? But then I realized that these are sooo ridiculous that I bet everyone will be trying to pull off these diddys. I'm thinking they might wear some crazy print legging underneath so that the two butt cheeks are hyper-contrasting with the legging layer over them, or maybe they might have on some underwear with words on the butt that can finally be shown to the public. Iunnevenknow but... the leggings are very reminiscent of Regina's boob cut-out shirt except it's leggings and the cut-outs expose your butt.

BREAK THAT RECORD

Really? On-site professionals with liquid nitrogen?
Happening May 26, 2009 at Comp USA somewhere. You can always watch it live on Computer TV.

The Ballad of Kevin McUgly

The Ballad of Kevin McUgly is this cute little story about a boy named Kevin McUgly! And a robot with big ambitions. READ READ READ

HEAR HEAR: Fresh BUL!M!ATRON!

BUL!M!ATRON!

Probably one of my favorite names for a musician. It had to be colorful and blinking. It's so clever, YOU KNOW IT. Anywho, fresh release from BUL!M!ATRON! It's called "The Things That Go Bump In The Night"...like demons in the embalming room in your basement (YEAH, I saw A Haunting in Connecticut and it scared the SH!T out of me). The track is pretty dope...there's lots of bass which is ALWAYS a good thing.

BUL!M!ATRON! - The Things That Go Bump in the Night by BULIMIATRON

I'm rocking it at full volume and having a rave in my bed right now. RAVE ON.

And because he's awesome and LOVES his fans you can get a free download at mediafire with his permission. My kind of DEEJ.

The ending of this song is WERKING IT.

Signing out, GHP.

Re: Jizz in my Pants

My arteries are clogging just thinking about this.

Bacon chocolate cake. Salty, greasy, crispy plus sweet? I'm in. I should throw a party and we could all wash that cake down with some bacon vodka.

I feel like Snake would own one of these knives.

I don't think I could've said it any better myself. This knife is so MANLY! via Cool Materials

I wanna hold my breath and make a wish in this tunnel.

Via Wooster Collective

Speaking of stunning...

Go check out this dude's typography on Flickr. Love it.

16 STUNNING Album Covers

If there is one travesty that has arisen in the era of downloading music, it is the lack of attention people pay to album cover artwork. Some CDs these days are just ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. In my effort to compile the ultimate Itunes I'm searching for the cover artwork for all of my songs and here are 16 STUNNING covers I just had to share.

16. Abbey Road - The Beatles (1969)
This cover is ICONIC which is why I rank it at 16. But the photography in this is stunning. The moment is perfect. The crispness is perfect. It is just perfect.


15. Kylie Minogue - Fever (2001)
How can Kylie NOT be stunning?


14. Lindsay Lohan - A Little More Personal (2005)
YES. SHE DID TRY TO HAVE A MUSIC CAREER. CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN HEART IS A GOOD SONG. Lindsay Lohan can be fierce sometimes, I have to hand it to her. I personally love this cover because of the hot pink paint that contrasts everything else. And LiLo is just working the camera. GET IT GIRL.


13. Christina Aguilera - Stripped (2002)
Stripped Christina was my favorite in her raunchy, DIRRTY glory. I think she looks amazing in this cover. The simple, plain background versus all the action in her clothes and hair is a very nice effect. STUNNING.


12. Feist - The Reminder (2007)
SILOHUETTE, STUNNING.


11. Hoobastank - The Reason (2003)
The whole arrangement and general tone of this cover is so serene. The lighting work is also top notch and works well with the photo. It's also nice the cultural reference (to Malaysian monks I think) in the artwork especially with the album title.


10. The Bar Kays - Too Hot To Stop (1976)
Stunning for it's shear RIDIC-NESS. And how all the guys are WERKING different hair styles and baby oil overload. I can't even handle this! STUNNING. I think this fashion should come back in the 2010.


9. Janet Jackson - Discipline (2008)
JUST STUNNING. Janet, WERKING it like usual.


8. Maroon 5 - It Won't Be Soon Before Long (2007)
That giant M in the background...STUNNING


7. Miyavi - Miyavizm (2005)
The Japanese can be stunning too! The color tones in this and lighting...STUNNING


6. Roisin Murphy - Ruby Blue (2005)
Once again, less is better. The simple background goes well with the busy graphic of Roisin who IS STUNNING in her own. Anyway the graphic is great. The fashions are hot. I love it.

5. Fischerspooner - The Best Revenge (2008)
All 3 of these were STUNNING. I had to include them all.


4. Girl Talk - Unstoppable (2006)
Greg Gillis' baby blues just make this cover. He is WERKING the camera. And I'm also a sucker for these up close portraits. STUNNING. Hot pink text, also STUNNING.


3. Suemitsu & The Suemith - The Piano It's Me (2007)
Another STUNNING Japanese album. The action of paint being poured on the guy is a great moment. Stunning.


2. Erykah Badu - Worldwide Underground (2003)
Profile shot. STUNNING. Background. STUNNING.


1. Seal - Seal II (1994)
Not only does this man have a STUNNING voice and a STUNNING family, he also has some STUNNING album covers. I'm assuming the model for this cover is Seal, and if it is he is WURKING IT. WERK BOY WERK. And the lighting in this is just ACE. Composition is perfect. It is all PERFECT. Who ever desgined this is god of album cover arts.