Saturday, July 31, 2010

So kaledescopicdcascpow

Shinkansen ver.2 from daihei shibata on Vimeo.

So intriguing.

David Thorne. A True Comedian.

The name may not ring a bell, but I'm sure everyone has seen the email exchange between David and some lady where he tries to pay his bill with a crappy picture of a spider. Well the comedic Gods are smiling upon the world because David Thorne actually has a website with PLENTY more where that came from. He's like all the wit and sarcasm I wish I had rolled into one person who people foolishly keep asking for favors.

His latest exploit is about a Missing Cat named Missy and is hilarious.

Me while I read it.

Everyone's Favorite Instrument Makes its Cinematic Debut

The sound is just so awkward.


The Meme Generator is my new favorite way to send messages. I may have just wasted 2 hours of my life making Memes. Best website ever.

Some genius on Sporcle literally created the BEST QUIZ EVER.

Mmmm, nostalgia. Mmmm, candy.

Friday, July 30, 2010


The best quotes from the Jersey Shore 2 premiere

More best quotes at Buzzfeed

LOL-PLANE: This MIGHT be a Kanye West Twitter Blog. On a TINY JET.



I may only hate him with 998 fiery passions know since I found out he does free concerts for kids in Chicago high schools....where he probably only talks about himself......998.5 fiery passions now. Kanye on Twitter is the best thing to happen to Twatter since the Celebrity Tweet Museum

I can't wait for some Kanye twaat illustrations to be posted.

In other news: I have to use spray tan now because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning salons. LOLSHORE. Best night ever.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

BRB I have to shower in ACID NOW

Thank GOD Youtube finally put their embed button back.

I'm throwing up all over the place. I hope no one EVER tries to sneak these off the islands because I never want this in my back yard. 

Youtube user Yerk3 puts it the best though: "Imagine if these things were massive, and disguised as street lights."

 Thank you Yerk3. That imagery will forever haunt my imagination now.


The French you'll never learn in class:

Avoir des atomes crochus avec quelqu'un
To have a lot in common with someone (literally: "to have hooked atoms with someone")

Avoir le cul entre deux chaises
To be caught between two stools (literally: "to have one's ass between two chairs") 

Courir sur le haricot
Get one someone's nerves (literally: "to run on someone's bean")

Démerden Zie sich
German-like expression for "solve your problem yourself" (literally: "get out of the shit yourself") 

Les bras m'en tombent
I am stunned (literally: "my arms are falling") 

Oh, it only gets better: LEARN MORE HERE

One ticket to Paris, baguettes, and a Beret please. Need to put this to practice.

Can we Add Apple and AT&T to the list of Boycotted Corporations?!

BP is destroying the planet and Apple's iCRAP STEVE JOBS NEEDS TO STOP RELEASING THE SAME SHIT IN A DIFFERENT PACKAGE is destroying any possibility of me ever owning a smartphone.

Not even out for a month and already sending my rage into dangerous levels.

Since when did AT&T stop offering unlimited data plans? OH WAIT. SINCE THE RELEASE OF THE iTAMPON APPARENTLY. GOD I HATE THAT THING. For the SHIT internet you get on cellphones I want to use it AS MUCH AS I WANT TO (read: Watch tons of Youtube videos at the push of a button FOR FREE no matter where I am and be able to drool at the pictures of Food Gawker while I'm in the grocery store) and I want to pay LESS than the amount I pay for internet on my REAL laptop.

I mean honestly, I'm fine with just GETTING a smartphone and using the other SMART features without using the internet at ALL. I HAVE a laptop already. I just want the other features! When cell phone companies start shutting down like landlines before them I will celebrate. I will spray champagne all over the windows of every cell phone store or office I can find and shower the employees with confetti as they exit with their final paycheck crying. And I won't feel a shed of sympathy.

I even gave the iPad a chance and tried one. OVERRATED. Such a waste of money. Just buy a Macbook please. For $400 more you get Photobooth, Garage Band, good movie making software, better protection of your goods, a keyboard, unlimited internet use, and unlimited downloading for free. Or for like $30 a month if you don't steal wireless from the suckers around you.

Monday, July 26, 2010

More like The Periodic Table of YUM

Image of the day

This boy is a genius.

I have a bad case of diarrhea.

Can you name all of the following consoles?


And for those of you who don't know what FAP means

Definition courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

The onomatopoeic representation of masturbation. Often used to suggest that something is attractive.
Did you see those Natalie Portman pics? *fap fap fap*


I'm sure by now you've all heard of the new food innovation, The Candwich, but have you ever wondered, what does it look like on the INSIDE of the can? Well, now you can see for yourself!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Lenny Kravitz crashes the VOP Choir in New Orleans for "Fly Away"

How great it must be for Lenny to randomly hear performers singing his song and how great it must be for the kids to get to perform it with him! If only I had chance encounters like this every time I sing in my car. Props Lenny and kids, Props.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Study like a scholar, scholar

Check out this parody of the Old Spice guy (who is a genius in his own right).


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

This Artist COMPLETELY Validates the Existance of Twitter

Absolutely genius, well done and hilarious.
Just a gems few from the greatest internet museum ever:





Speaking of the Power Rangers

Why don't things like this happen on the streets of America? Honestly, the best advertising Nike could wish for. Children would throw themselves at the door of every Footlocker/Nike Store trying to get the Power Ranger shoes! Genius advertising is genius advertising.

Warning: These Videos May Induce Mindfcuk

 It's Golden Hot Pants LIST TIME. It's always a great pleasure so see a music video that LITERALLY makes me go..."W.T.F. Did I just see?" So I've compiled a list of some of my Mindfck Music Video moments. I'm ALWAYS looking for more mindfck videos...SO UM...if you know one....drop me a comment or somethin'.

Quote of the day

"The Power Rangers' superhero personas are entirely concealed by their face wrapping helmets, ostensibly making their secret identities impossible to screw up ... unless they hung out together all the time, wore monochromatic outfits corresponding with their respective Ranger identity and openly practiced martial arts together in formation. They have to try to screw things up that badly. Just look at that picture: The blue ranger is dressed in blue, the pink ranger in pink, the red ranger in red, the yellow ranger in yellow and the black guy is wearing... jeans and stripes. Hey, he can wear whatever he wants; he's still the black one."

Monday, July 12, 2010

Because Tosh.0 can't possibly cover everything that's out there on the internet


And in case you missed the first one that was posted sometime and in some post I can no longer find on here...

And you thought chalkboard paint was cool...

FINALLY!!! I saw this a while back when they were just coming up with it in theory, but now it's an actual product that is available for purchase! Ideapaint can turn any surface into a dry erase board. On their website one 50 square foot kit goes for about $200. I cannot wait until they expand their brand and the price of the paint goes down. I WANT!!

For those of you who missed this during the World Cup yesterday.

Nike rainboots?

Nike's lifestyle brand, Nike Sportswear, has created a line of waterproof boots titled Storm Warrior Hi. They drop sometime this summer. I have a feeling that these are going to be quite popular, seeing as how people love to get their Nike on. Personally, I think I'll just stick to my Hunter boots. via FRESHNESS


Saturday, July 10, 2010

Gear Grinding: Concert Recession

An article on Yahoo this morning reads:

The recession has finally caught up with the lucrative concert touring industry.

Really? We're still reporting on the recession? That is so 2008. People have jobs. People are coping? Can we let go of the "recession mania" for a bit and just report news without stirring up the chaos that "your money will soon be worth nothing and everyone will live on the streets?" ATLEAST get with 2010 and blame it on BP. COME ON YAHOO, the problem of this year is BP, not the recession that people are finally getting over.

The industry trade magazine and website Pollstar says gross revenue for the top 100 tours in North America in the first six months of 2010 is down nearly $200 million from last year.

The total haul of $965.5 million was the lowest for the first half of the year since 2005 when gross revenue was $730.9 million.
Okay. So what is SO relevant about this then. I don't get it. Apparently the revenue BEFORE the recession were WAY less. I don't get the argument.

Major acts such as The Eagles, Christina Aguilera, Rihanna and the Lilith Fair have canceled or curtailed tours, but Pollstar editor in chief Gary Bongiovanni said others — including Lady GaGa, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Muse — aren't having problems moving tickets.

OH I SEE NOW. The author of this is just generally stuck in the past.

Picture of Rihanna in the article from...IDK....3 YEARS AGO? When was the last time she looked like this, really. 

1. The Eagles? REALLY. The Eagles? Who released their LAST album in 2007 and haven't had a number 1 song since 1979. Love Hotel California to death....but stop trying to make it happen. Too many new rock bands that appeal to the concert goers.

2. Christina Aguilera who, while I love her death, is too lacking in identity to remain relevant. If she had a specific image I'm sure she would appeal to more people rather than just certain people at certain times. She's older now and her image isn't fun enough like Gwen Stefani or controversial enough like Britney Spears to sell out shows.

3. Rihanna.....and to this I say people are finally coming to their senses. But really....When she comes out with a new CD and the radio replaces RUDE BOY BOY with something equally as annoying I'm sure her shows will be sold out again. She's popular enough, she still has the Chris Brown disaster, she just needs new music....we're tired of hearing Rude Boy. Really. Tired. I wish she could come up with a lasting pop song. All of her songs are so fleety and annoying.

4. Lilith Fair? Who? Okay, after looking it up I've decided that it sounds like an amazing mix of my favorite 90s performers and IF I HAD HEARD ABOUT IT BEFORE I would probably go. However the organizers are not doing their jobs because KNOWING ABOUT IT is important.

So there. Revenue lost explained. I really don't get the argument when they get to the part about how Lady GaGa, Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift and Muse AREN'T having revenue lost. Oh, I don't know....maybe because they keep themselves RELEVANT, make GOOD music, are YOUTHFUL and appeal to the YOUTH CULTURE, are PROLIFIC. Some things musicians have to DO if they want to keep up their ticket sales. Jesus, LAZY these days.

Musicians are just whining about more money lost and need to step up their game and EARN their money by working the hard way.

Woo. Gear grinded Yahoo.

Friday, July 2, 2010

4th of July Weekend!!

Appropriate song is APPROPRIATE.

She has gone from Milkshake (kind of tin-ish) to solid gold. Kelis' Flesh Tone album stays on repeat on my computer. It's 2010 and she's going HARD!

Happy Independence Day!

The Tulip is like the barrel juice of wine

Wine in a cup to-go! How fun! But at $4 for a 6.34 oz plastic glass of wine... I think I'd rather buy a full bottle of vino for myself. Or a full box of Franzia if I'm feeling extra cheap.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

tWeEnS: New Justin Beib- I mean new kid on the block Cody Simspon

WHO is this ~*~*~*TWEEN'S*~*~*~ stylist because they should be fired. The only thing worse than bermuda shorts are bermuda shorts on a prepubescent cherub looking child. The cruiser bike, pink cardigan and lack of any masculine defining features at kind of disturbs me.

And he looks like Charlie Bucket.


And Baby is the worst song ever.

-end tween bitterness-

ON ANOTHER NOTE, Paranormal Activity 2 Trailer debuted at the Eclipse premiere:

OCTOBER 22, 2010
Best Halloween Present Ever
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