Nothing Good Ever Happens in the Keys

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Nothing Good Ever Happens in the Keys

You'd think going to the Florida Keys would be a vacation. Look at it!

But let me tell you, this place is NOT for the faint hearted. Every time (read: 3 times) I've gone to the Keys something bad has happened to me!

Trip 1: Key West
A field trip with my major allowed me to take my first visit to Key West. "AWESOME." I thought. "It's going to be the best field trip ever! How can it not be? IT'S KEY WEST!" Boy was I wrong.

After a 4 hour bus ride on a bus that averaged -15 degrees we finally got to Key West, where our self conscience teacher decided she's to stupid to walk us around Key West and let us enjoy ourselves and instead needs the loquacious program director to give us a walking tour.

"I'm Roberto Behar, YOU KNOW"

So we followed around the guy on the far right, with super stylish glasses I might add, and learned about seriously the BLANDEST buildings in Key West. He wouldn't stfu, but that isn't to say there weren't some hilarious moments. Like the times when we'd just walk right into the middle of the street to admire the buildings ignoring all oncoming traffic because looking at a building is more important. And also the time he sent someone to climb up some random people's porch column.

The highlight of my trip was the sign on this building, WHICH I had to take this picture as we sped past it to some Women's house or something that I don't care about. This trip was also wasted as I ate lunch at DENNY'S (read: POOP ON A PLATE) AND was charged twice the amount for my food BECAUSE the Denny's was in Key West.

Fuck Denny's and Fuck Key West.

Trip 2: Bahia Honda

I decided to try again, this time going to the Keys during Spring Break so I could swim in the beautiful water I saw on the bus ride to Key West. The destination: Bahia Honda Key. I'd done my research and the pictures from Bahia Honda were beautiful so I drove down there.

The drive was amazing. Some of the prettiest scenery I've ever seen. I ended the drive with a horrible short tan, but that's okay because the drive was so worth it.

So we have a merry time at the beach. Took naps, explored, found huge jellyfish washed ashore, lounged in the liquid like sand, swam to the coral reef, took lots of pictures. It was great!

So we pack up to leave, still on a high from how much fun it was. 45 minutes already into the trip on the way back I realize...Where is my cell phone?
Called it, didn't find anything. Looked all in my car. Didn't find anything...Fuck. SO beginning with the loss of my cell phone I endured a week of technology hell. And I blame it all on Bahia Honda and their noise absorbing sand.

Trip 3: Islamorada
So I took another trip to the Keys today, for another class project, this time to Islamorada (a significantly more boring place than Key West). However this time my field trip was actually fun.