Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy NYE!

And what better way to celebrate NYE than list the Top 5 most painful foods to puke up tomorrow morning or maybe the Top 5 most painful foods to puke up tonight...

5. Tortilla chips & Salsa
They might be mighty tasty as you mindlessly dip into the bowl of chips over and over again throughout the evening. But when those sharp-edged chips are tearing gashes in your esophagus as you vomit them up, followed closely by the sting of the spicy salsa burning through those cuts (and the rest of your throat) like acid, you'll wish you'd stuck to the Chex mix.

4. Spring Rolls
While this may not seem like an obvious choice, take it from us... The sticky rice paper and clear noodles have a horrible way of getting caught in your throat, tripping that gag reflex over and over again as you desperately try to hack the food up like a cat with a giant hairball. And that peanut sauce you ate with them? Turns into pure acid in the stomach. Stick to egg rolls.

3. Italian Food
Tomato sauce, garlic, red pepper -- all the things that get the stomach acid churning and burning as that partially-digested food begins to make its way back up. Imagine how that's going to feel coming back up your raw, rum-torn throat. To add insult to injury, the red sauce stains your toilet bowl (or sink, if you're really unlucky and have poor aim).

2. Barbecue
The barbecue sauce is bad enough in and of itself, turning to a battery acid-like pH level in your stomach before coming back up. But it's the meat that really gets us, especially if you were eating brisket. The fatty pieces and meaty chunks feel for all the world like you're vomiting up human flesh. And in your inebriated condition, that's only going to make you throw up even harder.

1. Beef Jerky
One of the most difficult foods to digest, the tough, fibrous jerky will feel like a pair of ragged claws belonging to some hellish creature that's trying to escape from your gut as you wretch into the street or alley or wherever the hell you've ended up after eating a ton of beef jerky and drinking until you puke. We're not judging. But you've been warned.

via Houston Press

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