Fuck Ashton Kutcher

I found this little gem of a poem by Dave Chappelle a few years ago. Pretty much the best poem I've ever heard.

Fuck Ashton Kutcher
by Dave Chappelle

Fuck Ashton Kutcher
The public image butcher.

His shows a hit
And I can't stand that shit.
I don't even know him
And I hate his guts.

If he punks me
I won't sign the release.
Because whenever he punks black people
It always involves the POLICE.

He be having all them white folks at home rollin'
"Brandy did you know that that jewelery was STOLEN?!"
But Hey! I'm a star!
Well stop shining and get your ass out that car.

Now he wouldn't like it
If me and my friends
Just before dawn
Bust in his house
With some ski masks on
Put a gun in his mouth
Turn on the lights
And just when he screams
I'll yell out "SIKE!"
Can you sign this release?
I want to entertain people with your fear.
You punk bitch.


Genius

I love food.

Does anyone remember this book? I do. It was featured in one of my old elementary school literature textbooks. Uuuuuggghhhh I LOVED IT. It's about this town that doesn't need grocery stores because it rains food. But one day it gets out of control, and it starts to rain GIANNNTTT food!

Well, I just found out that they're making a movie of it that's supposed to come out next year, and Anna Faris is going to star in it. AGGGHHHH you know I am SOO there.

Oooh baby I love your way, everyday

Facehunter. The Selby (not really a blog?). Zombie Daily.
I love picture blogs.

I came across this one called Le Love a few weeks ago. Tres cute. Go check it. And here's a preview for some incentive:

Operation Humble Kanye: Successful

And after Colbert's plee for people to humble Kanye by buying his album at 5PM today, the results are in. The winner....

THIS NEWLY FIERCE BITCH and her "new" album Circus. (It sounds really familiar to me.)

1. Britney Spears - Circus
2. Akon - Some album that is not Locked Up and therefore unworthy
3. Stephen Colbert's Christmas Album
4. Kanye Douchebaggery West

Probably not the results Colbert wanted but HEY 4 is better than 1 right?

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

I WANT TO BE DJ!!!!!

OMFG. I WANT THIS LIFE FOR MYSELF SO BAD!!!!!!!!!

JUSTICE - PHANTOM II

Xavier and Gaspard ULTIMATE LOVE.
BUT DAMN, I WOULD KILL TO BE A GROUPIE ON TOUR WITH THEM OR SOMETHING!!!!!!! SHITTTTT I'M SO OFFENDED BY MY ORDINARY LIFE.

Across the Universe DVD documentary of Justice's American tour. Can't wait to buy it. And the song in the video is Phantom Pt. II. One of my favorite songs ever. It's a secret fantasy of mine to get revenge on someone with this song playing in the background. So it'd be ultra dramatic and amazing.

Hear Hear: I Want Those Flashing Lights

So somewhere in the land that is known as...Canada, there lives an "unsung hero" named Colin Munroe.

Just let me say, this guy did an amazing remix of Kanye Douchebag West's (I think it was a misfortune for Kanye to EVER come "through the wire", let me say) Flashing Lights song called "I Want Those Flashing Lights."

I Want Those Flashing Lights. That's right Kanye, some people ARE ACTUALLY less fortunate than you. Douchefuck.

Anywho Colin has a free mixtape up for download called "Unsung Hero," and I just downloaded. You should download as well and get Colin some flashing lights in his life. And take away all of Kanye's. With his broke ass CD. But I do admit, the album art for 808's and Heartbreaks is pretty boss.


Click the photo for download page.

I ALSO, suggest everyone participate in Stephen Colbert's Operation: Humble Kanye. That bitch needs some perspective on his position in this world.
All you have to do is purchase Colbert's Christmas album TODAY at 5 PM on ITUNES.